The darkish, quiet, never told poetic words' Journal
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
the will to be forcible
for you to see me against tides
of unwanted imagery
against unexplained comedy
of you here lying motionless
touching the skin at my back
the risks already undertaken
from the moment you smelled my hair
till your arms playfully linger on my bare hip
then in unison
looking thru the frosty window
listening to the rain pouring madly at the roof
whispering carelessly to remember
long forgotten memories taken in innocence together
the bliss left under the sheets
with you holding me closely
against your bare chest
overpowering me with your able shoulders
to be here forever
without turning back
to our lives lived in secrecy
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
9:48AM - are you (January 13, 2002)
so are you just gonna stand there
just lingering there feeling today
yielding the night as endlessly as before
without even trying to knock on my door
are you finally aware of me
behind these incessant façade of queries
are you finally gonna stay here
or are you gonna runaway
like everyone …
and their misconception of fairy tales
that ends happily ever after
that starts perfectly forever and ever
are you just gonna fit in there
behind the shadow of the night
beneath the stars of the coming twilight
dreaming of her instead of me tonight
are you just gonna let this be
another escaping melody
another time to say a swift good bye
another moment to take away the realms of the sky
without ever standing beside me in your arms tonight
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
swooning under the carpet
of love and not love
of emotions and none emotions
crashing under the rug of desire
or faltering under the feet of denial
fumbling all over
your heart so full of carelessness
of stepping out or being stepped at
of being conscious or being ridiculous
of love and the so-called love
of you yesterday and of you now
i wonder whom did i loved the most somehow
between love and hatred
of being impassioned or angered
i wonder how i ever made it
in times and in places
between right and wrong
i swoon underneath the mat
of love and not love
of being in love and being in love with you
Monday, February 12, 2007
7:38AM - interlude IX
wondering ... wondering
if you are
as sincere as cheating
as gallant as whining
as kind as lying
as valiant as hiding
wondering ... wondering
if love is
as furious as hatred
as scarlet as death
as fervent as bluntness
as plain as everyday
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
10:29AM - a new sense
a new sense of feeling
a new sense of missing
from impulse to this fleeting feeling
to you finally
to you eventually
a new sense of relief
a new sense of flight
from careless air
to blissful winds
shared together from freshness
dreaming of you and i
a new sense of feeling
a new sense of being
i had with you
from you all along
now i’m never gonna be on my own
Friday, February 2, 2007
1:20PM - i said goodbye
youve let me down
"have the ships been long gone?"
no looking back
just breathing ahead
have you let my hands go?
i cant feel your heart anymore
i am lost
this world is too big without you
my heart will succumb
stay for a while
i cant say goodbye
tears against the wind
tomorrows too blinding
all things sinking
away from me
can you stay for a while
until i can say goodbye?
Friday, January 26, 2007
11:44AM - you
in my stomach
i dont know i can feel such thing
with you and your constant invitation
to cascade towards earthly communion
bursting in the scene
im not aware of this foreign feeling
bouncing off every walls imaginable
i never knew life could be this conceivable
singing while im sleeping
laughing while im screaming
dancing while im spinning
i cant escape it
need to be in this constant state
narcotically impossible to achieve
this mindset so high i cant hardly believe
if this is true
if this is you
Monday, August 15, 2005
Monday, August 8, 2005
Hi, some of these may be posted in my journal but who cares.
I can't explain what drives me to seclusion
Deprives me of conclusion
What makes me want to scream....
and in the end makes me stronger than i was
that's not my best but it will do for now.
Monday, August 1, 2005
- A rating community for poets!
- Weekly Prompts!
- Lots of poetry!
Saturday, July 9, 2005
Thursday, November 11, 2004
8:58AM - New
It's not one of my best, but it's the last one I wrote.
pain and sorrow compressed as one
fill me and take over
every little word
takes control and sends me in a whirl
thoughts of you
from your mouth
with broken promises
anywhere to be seen
no vibe that is happy
no feeling of love
just broken promises
spoken by your mouth
from your heart
i'm filled with broken promises from you
i'm full of your broken promises
Saturday, November 6, 2004
1:23AM - poem ....intro
I just found this community. I am reposting one of the poems i have on my journal here...i will post some here but the journal will have more. I have put a few up more will come. Here is one of them....thanks
Don’t want to wake up
Nothing out there to see
Don’t want to be
Still struggling with myself
Don’t care to impress
Can’t impress with nothing
Don’t want to feel
Ends up being painful
Don’t want to be loud
Just the quietness remains
Don’t want friends
Seen to many empty souls
Don’t want to be noticed
Let me stay in the background
Don’t want your care
You rarely returned it
Don’t want this life
Nothing more than a lie
Sunday, August 8, 2004
i wanted to feel the tenderness,theorize the world in my eyes. i wanted to smell the aroma ,present always in my life as happiness,which i never could. I have to be aspirant to persue the world ,but I'm a damsel who is petrified to rebule the past .But i love to philosophize my own world. I deplore my sane but it is present. Yet i want to be delived from sanity . I am dazed but repute that i do have to rouse from this world to a new one . I'm the ruinous of my own world and want one to feel ruthless for me ,not rueful...........not rueful. I ruffled my way by my own and the molestation showed the murk and yet for that i prefer nothing but to squester
12:50AM - ..............I..............
life is going on as it always was...............still pretending to live in this world facing all the brutal realities.............but tired inside..........alot tired..........in this heart ...........tired to say i can but i couldnt ..........tired to do what i never wanted............tired to be what i am now! ........but i am changed ............changed alot in the past few months .........and changes ,changed my life forever......... ..............and i make a lot more matured decisions then before ........... now ........i seek the deepness when i reach there........i learn the possibilities how to be there.............i search in them ........and i read when i reach ...........i never felt serene ...........but i have'nt lost my sensibility ............i feel rueful for myself for roving in the darkness......and .....the secrecy in that darkness made me defective .......and i gave nothing but delusions...............for which i had to defray...........i'm dazed and artless now .........................i could'nt confide............but let me be delived from the reality .................and let me be lost in my sane .........so that i could be ruminative.............and feel the rustle to persue them..................
Sunday, April 25, 2004
(I'm not sure about the title yet. Suggestions welcome.)
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
It's been two days since my last confession
Two days too long.
Has it really been two days since I hurt? two days since I cried?
No. There's another sin, Father. I've lied.
I lie, but to what purpose?
I don't know. I can't remember any more.
Have I lied to you?
No there was no lie. Pain is not confession.
You have hurt, but have not confessed.
What are your sins my child?
Too many to recount, Father.
Or too few.
Is it a sin to be sad?
Or to be happy?
One must be a sin, Father, but I forget which.
Either way I have.
You are not condemned for feelings.
God will not banish you to torment for eternity. Not for that.
He has some mercy.
But, Father, what is pain if not a recognition of sin?
Then tell me your sins, child.
I have lived, Father.
Ah, my child, that is a sin indeed.
Harsh words and violent blows
hidden secrets nobody knows
eyes are open, hands are fisted
deep inside i'm wrapped and twisted
so many tricks and so many lies
too many whens and too many whys
nobody's special, nobody's gifted, i'm just me
wrapped and twisted
sleeping awake and choking on a dream
listening loudly to a silent scream
call my mind the number's unlisted
lost in someone so wrapped and twisted
on my knees, alive but dead
look at the invisiable blood i've bleed
i'm not gone, my mind has drifted
don't expect much i'm wrapped and twisted
burnt out, wasted, empty, and hollow
today is just yesturday's tomorrow
the sun died out, the ashes shifted
i'm still here wrapped and twisted
Saturday, April 17, 2004
This poem probably needs a lot of work, but I need to vent some of my romantic, tragic feelings.
Look at the rose
The dark red rose with withering beauty
So elegant and so poised
You'd never know how much she suffers
You'd never see the tears
stream down her stem
You'd never see the blood
that drips from her petals
Ah yes! Cliche at times,
but this rose...
This rose is not a cliche
Her pain is real
Her love was real,
but her thorns hurt no one but herself
And so she suffers
But you wouldn't know
She hides it so well
And in hiding it, hides herself
And though broken and dejected,
that which she hides, is her true beauty
The soul that she hides is truly beautiful
Romantic and tragic, idealistic and visionary
That soul is the victim of the rose's cruel environment
And now look -
the red, red rose withers and becomes
12:31AM - "Paint me your soul"
Paint me your soul
Let me see the colors of your rainbow
Draw me your heart
Tell me all your feelings
Paint me your soul
with the water color pastels and the thick, vivid paints
as multifaceted as you are
Paint me the black,
the darkness shrouded within
Paint me the grey,
your insecurities and failures
Paint me the red,
dark, wine colored - your passion,
show me what moves you
Paint me the violet-pinks,
your love, your caring -
You never cease to astound me
Paint me the darkest blues
Tell me of your sadness
so that I may take it away
Paint me your soul
Friday, April 2, 2004
5:14PM - My Despair
No one can see me,
No one can hear me,
No one can touch me,
No one can feel me.
I cannot breathe
I cannot speak
I cannot think
I cannot feel.
They want to hear me
but they cannot listen;
They want to know me,
but they barely see me.
My thoughts are a mess
My eyes are clouded
My heart is chaos,
My soul turns black.
Inner feelings taunt me
Inner thoughts tear me down
Inner demons haunt me
Inner child wears a frown.
Demons, Devils, Angel's wings,
no one will ever hear me scream
my pain my torment nothing more
my mind far away, peaceful Italian shores..
Bring me love, Bring me peace..
These thoughts are not mine
they say death is sublime
Bleeding slowly, breathing fast
Heart beating, not long to last.
They cannot reach me deep inside
deep inside I do hide
I will lurk within my soul
This darkness is getting out of control.
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